Get all 5 Ben D Straw releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Strawman Cometh, Ye Olde Adventures: Everything Geekier than Everything Else, I Love Being a Nerd, Wooden, and Hang on to Your.
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Even though your boat's a dinghy
Go all the way to Philly
Bring all the goats of Billy
And hang on to your willy
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2. |
Beginnings
03:41
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We yearn to be heroes
Yearn to stand next to legends
Yearn to vanquish every villain
Yearn to rise to the heavens
But every mountain must start small
Every tree sprout from a seed
Every fire from a spark
And so we grow great with great deeds
We're adventurers you know
Fighting bandits, goblins, and trolls,
pushing on to do what's right
With just our will and our might
Even though we might not win
It will be worth it in the end
Defeating evil you know,
Helping the world to grow
To become heroes
So we set out for a small town
A town with problems everywhere
We were young and full of hope
We were foolish enough to care
We ran some ruffians out of town
With a threat and some lies
We tried to take out a band of orcs
We didn't think one of us would die
We're adventurers you know
Fighting beasts, nothics, and gnolls,
pushing on to do what's right
With just our will and our might
Even though we might not win
It will be worth it in the end
Defeating evil you know,
Helping the world to grow
To become heroes
Trading secrets with men of death
To find a legendary mine
To bring wealth back to this old land
Before it disappeared in time
We found the lair where evil hid
Fought through poison and through fright
Cleansed the great hall where evil stood
And bathed the land in brand new light
We're adventurers you know
Fighting spiders, black slimes and ghouls
We pushed on through, we did what's right
With just our will and our might
Though one of us just couldn't win
He'll be remembered in the end
Defeating evil you know,
Helping the world to grow
We became heroes
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3. |
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Shall ye hear the ballad of Ryton the Impaled?
Ryton was a brave soul who'd rush to save his friends
Though he was rather too eager and soon met a bitter end
His party left to take a band of troublesome orcs down
Though unfortunately Gog the ogre also was around
Thus began the final battle of Ryton the Impaled
Gog's critical javelin nailed Ryton to a wall
But the divine gave him another chance to make the creature fall
For his god did not desire for the fight to be in vain
But then Gog's critical great axe swung and cleaved the man in twain
And so ended the body of Ryton the Impaled
The party soon prevailed and Ryton's friends looted him dry
Though his spirit lives on when his blade is raised to the sky
For his longsword was recovered by the mighty Salazar
Thus the blade of Ryton passed to the successor Xenelor
Thus goes on the story of Ryton the Impaled
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4. |
We Skipped the Dragon
04:05
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5. |
By the Axe of Salazar
02:12
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Deviation from the law is punishable by axe
A nobleman of a destroyed land now brings order to the max
By the axe of Salazar, he shall reclaim his birthright
Crime shall fall to the axe of Salazar, greatest heirloom of his family!
Do you want your spine ripped out and shoved right down your throat?
Ogres, giants, and manticores, in their own blood they float
By the axe of Salazar, he shall reclaim his birthright
Crime shall fall to the axe of Salazar, except the dragon
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8. |
Bennybeard the Pirate
03:00
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Lend an ear, ye filthy rags
And kiss goodbye all yer old hags
If ye be having the stones to sail for Bennybeard the Pirate
On the hunt ye’ll be fer weed
And all help ye to spread yer seed
Debauchery aplenty under Bennybeard the Pirate
So climb aboard the Off-White Goose
And help me let the canvas loose
Revenge be on the Horizon now for Bennybeard the Pirate
Do dirtynwork fer rebel kings
Whichever way the treasure swings
It all matters not down the line to Bennybeard the Pirate
On a black flag with crossbones
A skeleton’s middle finger shows
In colors passed down o’er the years to Bennybeard the Pirate
The finger clan was at my side
Until legions brought genocide
And so began the lifelong war of Bennybeard… Arrgh
Now witness the
Ancestral guardians rise!
Now me crew shall never die
See me fallen blood awaken to protect us on the fly
Me cousin be a drag queen
And settin' fire be her scene
So mess ye not with those who seek the Finger Clan’s Revenge
A sorceress be Jennybeard
That mouth of sass ye’ll always hear
She sold her soul when falling just to keep the fight alive
Lend an ear now, all of you!
Or up your ass will be me shoe
The hourglass be ticking, there be no time to be silly
There be one phrase I always spew
Before me, the dwarf Daldus knew
The secret to survival be to hang on to your willies
Hang on to your willies
Hang on to your willies
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Ben D Straw Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Just a Bethlehem, PA indie rocker out to have some fun!
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